Some things changing.

Had a talk with the hubby. Told him what was going on in my head. Told him this is it. THE last chance.

He agreed to let me go back to school. So. I am working on finishing the registration I had started a few years ago. I won't have to repay the admin fee but I do have to pay a $5 re-registration fee... better than the $30 for the initial fee we thought I would have to repay. The background check fee is null and void now. But still have to pay for the $20 placement test fee. But that total of $25 is more doable than the original cost I thought I would have to pay of $65.

He knows that I realize that neither of us can make it alone, financially, right now. He has never done any of the chores required with living on your own (housework, paying bills, etc.). And I don't make enough at my part time job to be able to afford a place of my own. So we have agreed to try to stay on the path of trying to purchase the house we are in. We also agree that if we (if we are still together at that time) both move to MT like I hope to after getting my degree, that we will keep the house. We will use it as a vacation house when we come to visit. Leave the keys with the parents so that others in the family could also use it when needed. We know, and agree on, how we plan to fix the house up. I am aiming at the end of Aug to try for the home loan. There is a monthly debt payment that is done at that time, so it frees up a little bit of money. Another one is finished at the end of Sept.

So.. there is a light at the end of the tunnel, right now. Now only if life doesn't get in the way like it always did in the past. Just maybe we will have some relief for short bit of time.

I haven't gotten the css position yet, but the store has put that spot on hold for now. To much movement going on with the upper management.

Still dreaming of the guys. Don't think that will ever stop. I don't think I really want it to. Even though it causes a deep longing inside that will never be fulfilled, they still give me a relief from the reality of my mundane existence.

That's it for now. Til later.