Not much has changed. Roommate is hoping to move out come the end of June beginning of July. A place up the road is available. I don't think he realizes that it will cost him more in the long run.... since here he only pay half rent and bills and has not bought household items since we moved in. There the rent will be $170 more and the bills would be about $140 more plus what he would need as household items. But he will find out when he moves out. It will be nice not having to pick up after him and his daughter. She is a piece of work... There have been so many times that I wanted to discipline her for something, but he wants her to learn that she can be and do ANYTHING she wants. And I don't mean that she could aspire to be a congresswoman or something like that. But that she can do things like throw her food on the floor cause she doesn't like it then not have to clean it up. That she can ignore the other people that live here and change the channel to something she wants to watch even when someone else is watching something. That she can decide she doesn't want the radio on and just turn it off when others are listening. That, because she says something belongs to her, we all have to give it to her no matter what it is. Yup.... she will turn into a winner as she gets older. No consequences for any of her actions.... especially when it's bad.

So... not much else going on. Still dreaming. Was asked the other day by a friend why I have all these ideas for the yard when I  plan on moving to Montana. I don't think he expected my answer. I told him that I know that Montana is a pipe dream. I may be something I have wanted since I was 18, but I know that this right now is the best I will ever get. I am not worthy of anything more than this. I I still dream, I still hope, but I just know that this is where I will survive the rest of my life. I can not be any more than what I am now cause it is this is what others want me to be. And every time I have attempted to make myself more, better, others have come in and put up roadblocks to detours that take me right back to where THEY want me to be, instead of where I dream to be. Yup.... Not worthy of better. Never have been, never will be. Can't even get the damn $20 to pay for the accuplacer tests. Almost had it, then J decided he wanted to spend $10 of it on a new game he downloaded. When will I get a break and be given the chance to better myself. I know I need to get a job. I know that we need more income. But I also know that I will not be able to get a job without something to back me. And three years of consistent unemployment is NOT it. No driver's license, no degree, been fired from a job that accused me of theft even if they didn't charge me. Even places that were interested when they interviewed me, lost interest when they did reference checks. So.... what am I to do. I can't get a job. I can't pay for school. But I can't just sit here and do nothing. A pile of crap is of more use than I am right now.

Well, enough complaining... Gonna go to bed and hopefully dream of my mates so that I can have some form of happiness in my life.

Later.