Well, the FLE position fell through. I requested a correct edit of the test so that I can go over my mistakes, don't know if I will get it though. So... yeah. Tomorrow I will call KT to see if that is still a possibility since they still haven't called me back. I am thinking not though. If they had really wanted me they would have called back the next day. So, now I know I am even more worthless than I thought. What did I do that was so horrible to cause all this negativity to be in my life? I can't think of anything I did that was so wrong. Sure, I wasn't the best teenager.. dated guys my dad didn't like (but then he was hoping to sell me to the highest bidder), got kicked out of the house at 14 due to my choice of boyfriend. Was homeless for a good year or so, and during that year I did skip a shit ton of school. But then, I was more worried about where I was going to be sleeping that night than making it to school. Was required to move back in with dad at christmas time due to it not looking good to the family if I was homeless in the winter. Moved to MN with my aunt. Did good for a year but then I made bad choices again and he the consequences to deal with again. I know that I made a bunch of bad choices, in both my life and in a bunch of the boys I dated. Always choosing guys that wanted me to be replacements for their mothers but willing to sleep with them. Giving the kids up for adoption was one of the most selfless choices I made but I still got punished for it, as I wasn't able to get back up to Marshfield after the hearing and lost all my stuff, and became homeless due to it. I finally get back up on my feet and I am, again with a man that wants me to care for him like a mother but to sleep with him like a slut. Ended up getting pregnant again, but made this guy marry me. It helped to keep DCFS off my back, but put me in a permanent relationship that I felt trapped in after the first 5 years. Took a chance in '08 that if I had known my felony was a hindrance I wouldn't have taken. Was homeless again after that fell through. Had a job, got accused of stealing, was fired and haven't been able to get a job since. My friend keeps saying that all things happen for a reason, all things are lessons we need to learn. So what the hell is this all teaching me? All I have learned is that my dreams NEVER come true, that I am USELESS and WORTHLESS, that all my good actions have negative consequences to me, that my environment will never get better than living in poverty always wondering where the money to pay the bills will come from, and that my life will have those joyful experiences that make a life actually worth living. If those are the lessons I am to learn... well they have been learned well. I can't get a job cause I am not qualified for anything anymore, I can't go to school cause we can't afford the initial costs to register, and I can't get my license cause we can't afford the gas needed for me to practice. So what good am I?

Well... enough for now. Can't see the screen anymore anyway.