Well. I guess we have a few days. I wasn't really a part of the argument. I try to stay out of them. But just as I was getting things straightened out enough that I should have been able to get started with removing myself from this relationship, and now I can't. If I get an offer to get out of here, I have to take him with. V will, obviously, go with me. She doesn't want to stay here anymore. I know that no offer is on its way, but....

It all started cause Thor was going to cook a pizza. He turned on the oven, and his dad went ballistic. They had purchased one of those more advanced convection oven so that they would have something other than the regular stove. We were told NOT to use it. Thor's brother has permission to use it, but we can't. Since we are living in a trailer with no air conditioning, turning on the stove increases the heat exponentially. That is what his dad was bitching about. Well, one thing led to another, and we now have, I don't know how much time, to get out. This happens often. It's one of the reasons I don't like being here. But I don't have a choice. My family will not or can not help me. Thor is so adverse to people that we have lost the majority of our friends that might be able or willing to help. So... since we have an unknown limited time to find a place that is free to live at since we have no money, I will not be able to go after my degrees.

This should teach me... it isn't the first time that I tried to do something to better myself and someone elses actions/words make it so that I can't. Even though I am no where near who and where I want to be at this point in my life, it looks like I will never get there. Fate, or whatever, seems to think that the world is better with me on my back on the bottom of this hole with no way to stand or get out. I just don't want to be here anymore. I know that I am not wanted here either. I have known that for a few years now. They don't see me as family, just as someone who married their son, and the mother of one of the grandkids. I know that they will never say anything to my face, but it's in what wasn't said.

So... my dreams are again shattered and laying at my feet. No Montana, no school, no degree, no new life. All I have left is to find a low paying job that offers true security, and a place that is so cheap that it is probably condemned. Will have to invest in an ice cooler or something cause we won't be able to afford electricity. Well, we have the car. I guess that will work.

Enough for now. I'm not going to put anymore "inspiration" pics up, cause that dream is now dead. All those pics will do, is make me feel even worse since it's something I don't seem to deserve.