Ok. Since this is my first blog here, I will try to keep from venting to much. That is pretty much what I would use my previous blog for. Venting, that is.

I am in a relationship that I no longer wish to be in. But I do not have the means to leave. I have been married for about 15 years. Have one child with my husband but I do have other from other relationships. It isn't that I don't love him... cause I still do. I have never be IN love with him. The man that I am IN love with doesn't exist... never has. But my husband new that before we were married. We had been friends for quite a few years before we married. We new at the time that we married that we were only doing for the piece of paper to make sure that our daughter wasn't born out of wedlock. All of my other kids were, and I wanted to stop the circle from making another round. So we married. I have been faithful, unless you count my dreams. I have been cheated on in my past and never liked the feeling. So I new that I would never cheat on the one that I was with. So, I have been faithful to him for the past 15 years, and will continue to be until I am able to completely break the relationship off.

Why not now? Well, I have no job, no drivers license, no car, no place to live. We are staying at his parents house (have been for the past three years now). I have never gotten my license cause something else always comes up that is more important than paying for the test. And since I got terminated from my last job 2 years ago, I seem to be unemployable. I was accused of theft that I didn't do... and the store did not press charges, but I still cannot seem to find employment. Even at place that aren't retail establishments, like a motel as a housekeeper. I have one child living with me, two that are old enough to be on their own, but I would like to be able to offer them a safe place to stay if they need it.. and two step children that I would like to be able to do that with too. So I NEED a job and a place to live that is within walking distance before I can tell him that I do not wish to live with him.

Gotta go.