We had company today. Relative from south came up for Easter. I hid in the bedroom. I know that the inlaws prefer her company to mine, so when she is here, I try to disappear. They were hoping that she would be the one that Hubby married. They never had to say that to my face, I just know. It is in the things they don't say to me but do say to her. The funny thing, even if I do leave him, I don't think he will go back to her. And I don't think that she will take him back. Then again, I have been wrong with so many things in my life that I am probably wrong with that too.

Nothing else is going on. It's not like I have a life worth living. I sleep, get up, sit at the computer, read a book, go to sleep, and get up the next day to do the same thing all over again. Even a part time job would be nice, it would break the monotony of doing nothing. It would go a long way towards helping me feel like I am worth the air that I breath. I hate having to eat, and sleep, and all the other bodily functions when I can't afford to pay for all the things I use to do these things. I eat more than I am worth. I use the toilet more than I can afford to. I have to shower, so there is more water that is wasted on me.

I just wish something would happen soon. Something that would help me get out of this hole that I seem to keep digging myself into.

Tired. Time to go.